and the truth is
i came back to a place i didn't really want to come back to, to parents whom i don't really get along with, to no job, to no actual life and my relationship is in the worst state it's ever been. on all fronts, save the religious one, life is shit. it really really is shit. and yet i'm okay, which is testament to God's goodness, i even have joy, but i question that joy, i question my place in life, and its current state. if you looked hard enough, i'm sure you could detect my wariness/weariness.
i speak of inner peace, but on all accounts i am desperate.